When to Stick to "The Plan"
I have a plan, and it’s a problem.
My plan — let’s call it The Plan — is often a problem for me. I want to move from A to B to C in logical progression with measurable growth and joy. The Plan, as I’ve laid it out, tells me I want to be known for intersectional feminist narrative Halloween paintings.
But do I?
I’m wondering if I have the specifics wrong.
At its core, in its most general form, The Plan is for me to develop new skills that allow me to bring the Halloween worlds in my head into this world so they can exist and have others enjoy them. That’s my purpose. That’s why I’m here.
Writing is my cornerstone; it’s what I’m driven to give myself to. But it can’t serve every creative spirit that finds its way to me through writing. Some just don’t want to be pinned in words and desire a more physical form. I’ve known for a while that I have to develop other skills to bring the whole of my Halloween world to life.
And I have figured a few of those spirits out. Many of them find their way into this world when I make props.
These spirits dream of being in a real-life yard haunt. This might be the first year I actually get to have my imagined spooktacular display, even though I’ve wanted a haunt my entire life.
(If I’m honest, this is the #1 reason we’re buying a house).
Each year the theme of our home and yard haunt will change, but it will also continue the narrative established in the first year (storytelling is everything to me, thus the whole writing thing).
Those creative spirits are happy, but what about the others still wailing in my mind for a way out?
I thought painting would serve to bring these other ideas into being, but now I’m not so sure.
I’ve been sick with a bad cold for eight days now. Eight stay-in-bed-and-die sort of days. Too sick again for formal class today, I went to Lillstreet and played with my terra-cotta clay for a hour and a bit. I made a demented hare that’s biting a heart to match the hare I made last time that’s shredding a heart. It was an hour of my life and it was really fun. And I wish I’d had health and energy enough to stay longer.
I connect with clay so much more than I do drawing or painting. Painting, in particular, hasn’t sparked for me yet. I don’t have fun when I do it. It’s just mud and confusion.
I love what I make in sculpture even though nothing I make is perfect. It never matters. When the clay has a distortion or “mistake” I love it even more because it has so much character and interest. When I play in clay, my art feels connected and expressive and unrestrictive.
Even my limited skillset doesn’t impinge upon and pinch me the way it does in other mediums.
So why don’t I focus on sculpture? Why do the drawing and painting routes if I love clay?
Is it because it’s not The Plan?
I have this idea in my head that I learn how to draw, then learn how to paint, and three years later have a solid foundation from which to really expand and grow and explore the art I want to make. At no point in this grand plan did I think I’d want to focus on sculpture.
But now I’m thinking sculpture makes a lot of sense to me.
In 2014, when I first decided to take an art course, the class I picked, from all the options offered at Gage Academy in Seattle, was an introduction to figure sculpting course.
I didn’t swoon over it the way I swoon over my small sculptures and doll-making course, but I was still in love. It was weird and challenging and very cool.
I like building things with my hands. (Oddly enough, I consider my longhand writing to fit in the “built this with my own two hands” category).
The next course I took was an introduction to oil painting, which is where I learned I needed to learn how to draw in order to get a solid foundation. I forgot about sculpture. It was only a hop from there to my atelier dreams.
I never considered sculpture seriously until I found Robin Power’s Small Sculptures and Doll-making course and *HAD* to take it. More than any other course I signed up for after I quit Ravenswood Atelier, Robin’s course had me excited and frothing at the mouth to go.
Ten weeks later, I still look forward to that class more than any other. The work I do in that class brings me a deep and abiding joy.
But I don’t feel ready to break with The Plan and leap headfirst into full-time sculpture studies. That seems Rash and Unthinking, and I have that voice (hey, Judgement) that tells me I shouldn’t quit just because something (like painting) is hard and I can’t do what I want right away. Nose to the grindstone! Work harder! It can’t be all fun and games!
Shhh... Don’t tell my inner censor (that judgey jerk) but I am baby-stepping towards sculpture.
I’m taking Robin’s course again and will take it every time it’s offered so long as I can get in. I’m also going to take her figurative sculpture course the next time it’s offered.
Meanwhile, I’ve added another sculpture course to my curriculum. In April I start a figurative sculpture course with Ralph Cossentino at Palette and Chisel. Once that one is complete, I’ll take another with Audry Cramblit.
Three different figure sculpture instructors for three different perspectives. It seems a good way to see if I love something, doesn’t it?
I’m going to give sculpture the best legs I can to see if it is what wants to run. I won’t quit drawing (I actually really like drawing), but maybe painting won’t be my end goal. Maybe I’m meant to bring my Halloween worlds to life through sculpture instead.
 |
| Yes, This Is a Real Notebook |
But do I?
I’m wondering if I have the specifics wrong.
At its core, in its most general form, The Plan is for me to develop new skills that allow me to bring the Halloween worlds in my head into this world so they can exist and have others enjoy them. That’s my purpose. That’s why I’m here.
 |
| My Very Committed Writing Team |
Writing is my cornerstone; it’s what I’m driven to give myself to. But it can’t serve every creative spirit that finds its way to me through writing. Some just don’t want to be pinned in words and desire a more physical form. I’ve known for a while that I have to develop other skills to bring the whole of my Halloween world to life.
And I have figured a few of those spirits out. Many of them find their way into this world when I make props.
 |
| Inside Our Halloween Home |
These spirits dream of being in a real-life yard haunt. This might be the first year I actually get to have my imagined spooktacular display, even though I’ve wanted a haunt my entire life.
(If I’m honest, this is the #1 reason we’re buying a house).
Each year the theme of our home and yard haunt will change, but it will also continue the narrative established in the first year (storytelling is everything to me, thus the whole writing thing).
Those creative spirits are happy, but what about the others still wailing in my mind for a way out?
I thought painting would serve to bring these other ideas into being, but now I’m not so sure.
I’ve been sick with a bad cold for eight days now. Eight stay-in-bed-and-die sort of days. Too sick again for formal class today, I went to Lillstreet and played with my terra-cotta clay for a hour and a bit. I made a demented hare that’s biting a heart to match the hare I made last time that’s shredding a heart. It was an hour of my life and it was really fun. And I wish I’d had health and energy enough to stay longer.
I connect with clay so much more than I do drawing or painting. Painting, in particular, hasn’t sparked for me yet. I don’t have fun when I do it. It’s just mud and confusion.
I love what I make in sculpture even though nothing I make is perfect. It never matters. When the clay has a distortion or “mistake” I love it even more because it has so much character and interest. When I play in clay, my art feels connected and expressive and unrestrictive.
 |
| Front View of Eyeurn: A Canopic Jar |
 |
| Back View of Eyeurn: A Canopic Jar |
Even my limited skillset doesn’t impinge upon and pinch me the way it does in other mediums.
So why don’t I focus on sculpture? Why do the drawing and painting routes if I love clay?
Is it because it’s not The Plan?
I have this idea in my head that I learn how to draw, then learn how to paint, and three years later have a solid foundation from which to really expand and grow and explore the art I want to make. At no point in this grand plan did I think I’d want to focus on sculpture.
But now I’m thinking sculpture makes a lot of sense to me.
In 2014, when I first decided to take an art course, the class I picked, from all the options offered at Gage Academy in Seattle, was an introduction to figure sculpting course.
I didn’t swoon over it the way I swoon over my small sculptures and doll-making course, but I was still in love. It was weird and challenging and very cool.
 |
| My First Sculpture Class |
I like building things with my hands. (Oddly enough, I consider my longhand writing to fit in the “built this with my own two hands” category).
The next course I took was an introduction to oil painting, which is where I learned I needed to learn how to draw in order to get a solid foundation. I forgot about sculpture. It was only a hop from there to my atelier dreams.
I never considered sculpture seriously until I found Robin Power’s Small Sculptures and Doll-making course and *HAD* to take it. More than any other course I signed up for after I quit Ravenswood Atelier, Robin’s course had me excited and frothing at the mouth to go.
Ten weeks later, I still look forward to that class more than any other. The work I do in that class brings me a deep and abiding joy.
But I don’t feel ready to break with The Plan and leap headfirst into full-time sculpture studies. That seems Rash and Unthinking, and I have that voice (hey, Judgement) that tells me I shouldn’t quit just because something (like painting) is hard and I can’t do what I want right away. Nose to the grindstone! Work harder! It can’t be all fun and games!
Shhh... Don’t tell my inner censor (that judgey jerk) but I am baby-stepping towards sculpture.
 |
| Obsessively Reading |
I’m taking Robin’s course again and will take it every time it’s offered so long as I can get in. I’m also going to take her figurative sculpture course the next time it’s offered.
Meanwhile, I’ve added another sculpture course to my curriculum. In April I start a figurative sculpture course with Ralph Cossentino at Palette and Chisel. Once that one is complete, I’ll take another with Audry Cramblit.
Three different figure sculpture instructors for three different perspectives. It seems a good way to see if I love something, doesn’t it?
I’m going to give sculpture the best legs I can to see if it is what wants to run. I won’t quit drawing (I actually really like drawing), but maybe painting won’t be my end goal. Maybe I’m meant to bring my Halloween worlds to life through sculpture instead.
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